Tomorrow is another day. It is...Joi O'Dell's would-have-been 29th birthday. Strangely, I had to look at the funeral program to confirm it is her birthday. I knew it was soon but she never wanted people to know when so it has been fuzzy to me. My grief has been accentuated as so many changes have been happening and I wept realizing that I would have liked to share them with her but, alas, she is not here. I would like to tell her about Chris' new job and hear her reaction about him working at NASA! She would be so proud of him too. She would be sad that we will have to move to Virginia but happy for us too. I would have liked to let her know I am pregnant and invited her to my baby shower. She would probably have made me something or buy something extra geeky. The party would be more goofy and brighter with her. In short, I miss her.
I miss her and I am looking toward the future but feeling a strong, strong pull to taste this present. I know...it will be good. I know...it is a blessing. Yet, I will miss so much that I am leaving. It's tearing at my heart.
I do think this time of "transition" in Mankato has been hard for me but it's also been a sort of waiting room too. It's been the in-between being far-away and yet being accessible to our dear friends and family. Once we move out of state we'll really have to say "see you later." Our saving grace will no longer be an hour and a half trip up 169. We'll really be on our own. God, go with us, please....meet us there in the lives and hearts of friends we haven't met. Weave into our unending tapestries that are already so breath-taking and make them even more rich and beloved.
I love you, Kimberly. This is heart-wrenchingly beautiful. I ache with your ache and pray your prayers with you.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking of Joi yesterday, too. It still just isn't right.
Thank you, Molly. I love you too.
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