Chris and I have moved from Minneapolis to Mankato but we are in Vadnais Heights staying with his parents at the moment.
Our lives are weird.
The complications come from him having to train in a new guy at his dad's work and our car not working. We have not working car as of right now.
Anyway, I did get to spend some quality time in Mankato getting unpacked and set up more comfortably and although it's no Minneapolis I'm starting to like it. Among my experiences: a traveling hippie artist lady gave me an amethyst after she found out I was new to Mankato because she had just taken it from the ground and it was fresh and so was I. :o) That was really a blessing to me! I also got to go to the genuine "Mutch" Hardware store in North Mankato via bike and I watched 8-10 year old boys skateboard in the back "parking lot" as I wrote a letter. They asked me if they could skate there and all I said was it was fine by me as long as they didn't hit the car.
In a lot of ways, although Mankato is certainly not free from the big city woes, I do find it's small townishness regenerating to my spirit. It's a little more innocent a touch more naive than Minneapolis. It makes me also love Minneapolis and have more compassion for those at Jesus Kitchen especially. Yes, this move is likely a good thing.
Thursday, August 9, 2012
Friday, July 20, 2012
The End of an Era
"Leaving Minneapolis is like leaving a lover/You've got so much history you just don't want it to be over."
I've never left a lover and so my writing those lyrics might seem kind of ridiculous (even without the tackiness factor) but I do truly feel like Minneapolis is a dear, dear friend I'm parting ways with (even if it's just for a while).
I guess the truth is what I love most about Minneapolis is the friendships I've developed here. The people, the community of communities itself, is what makes it hard to leave.
I'm rooted in this forest. I can't even begin to list the things I'll miss, but I suppose I will:
1. Our housemates Jane, Lydia and Mary...our little community house has had it's rough patches but I love everyone and have been blessed so much by being in this together.
2. The beauty that surrounds the house we're in: it's proximity to the Mississippi river, the big park, the Greenway bike trail, the garden space, the ability to go out and just rest in the yard, etc.
3. Our neighbors that we've gotten to know; the East African family next to us just invited us to dinner and we hung out with them last week, our neighbor Mel, other quirky friendly neighbors; particularly Richard who plants tomatoes and green beans in his front boulevard and encourages people to pick them.
4. The Seward Co-op and being able to bike there. All the hippies in Seward. :o)
5. Jesus Kitchen hugely! We will be trying to come back once a month (this we are committed to but realize we must be flexible as well). Chris and I met there. These last 9 months or so we've essentially led it and feel very vested in it. We love the people we know through it and fully intend to continue those friendships. We love sharing God's love and being challenged by what's really going on with people's hearts and heads.
6. Hard Times (in a lot of ways Hard Times is somewhat synonymous with Jesus Kitchen to me because we most always hang out there after the Kitchen). It's punk flavor that still seems to let so many others spill into it's doors and co-exist: college students, refugees and immigrants, people just looking for others to be with/contemplate with). I will also miss it's super cheap and good food.
7. Our official church, Seward Church. We've grown with it and kept on seeing people come and go. Good times even in hard times (heh, seems like a pun from the previous listing). I've come to see my need for Jesus in real ways through doing life with people there and hearing the Word.
8. Salvage Yard Community: it seems this spans just Tuesday night service. Hanging out at Greenhouse Potluck and doing Jesus Kitchen has probably helped us continue on in these connections.
9. Greenhouse Potluck: bringing people together for food! Playing silly games and feeling at home in a home away from home.
10. The rich diversity of the neighborhoods in general: I love the midtown area where so many cultures meet. I love how Minnesota's Lutheran roots have created a social system where many immigrants feel safe and find their needs meet. I pray that will happen more.
THERE ARE SO MANY FLIPPING REASONS I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, MINNEAPOLIS!
I've never left a lover and so my writing those lyrics might seem kind of ridiculous (even without the tackiness factor) but I do truly feel like Minneapolis is a dear, dear friend I'm parting ways with (even if it's just for a while).
I guess the truth is what I love most about Minneapolis is the friendships I've developed here. The people, the community of communities itself, is what makes it hard to leave.
I'm rooted in this forest. I can't even begin to list the things I'll miss, but I suppose I will:
1. Our housemates Jane, Lydia and Mary...our little community house has had it's rough patches but I love everyone and have been blessed so much by being in this together.
2. The beauty that surrounds the house we're in: it's proximity to the Mississippi river, the big park, the Greenway bike trail, the garden space, the ability to go out and just rest in the yard, etc.
3. Our neighbors that we've gotten to know; the East African family next to us just invited us to dinner and we hung out with them last week, our neighbor Mel, other quirky friendly neighbors; particularly Richard who plants tomatoes and green beans in his front boulevard and encourages people to pick them.
4. The Seward Co-op and being able to bike there. All the hippies in Seward. :o)
Jane, me and Chris at the Art Shanties after we did the bike ice race
6. Hard Times (in a lot of ways Hard Times is somewhat synonymous with Jesus Kitchen to me because we most always hang out there after the Kitchen). It's punk flavor that still seems to let so many others spill into it's doors and co-exist: college students, refugees and immigrants, people just looking for others to be with/contemplate with). I will also miss it's super cheap and good food.
7. Our official church, Seward Church. We've grown with it and kept on seeing people come and go. Good times even in hard times (heh, seems like a pun from the previous listing). I've come to see my need for Jesus in real ways through doing life with people there and hearing the Word.
8. Salvage Yard Community: it seems this spans just Tuesday night service. Hanging out at Greenhouse Potluck and doing Jesus Kitchen has probably helped us continue on in these connections.
9. Greenhouse Potluck: bringing people together for food! Playing silly games and feeling at home in a home away from home.
10. The rich diversity of the neighborhoods in general: I love the midtown area where so many cultures meet. I love how Minnesota's Lutheran roots have created a social system where many immigrants feel safe and find their needs meet. I pray that will happen more.
THERE ARE SO MANY FLIPPING REASONS I'M GOING TO MISS YOU, MINNEAPOLIS!
Wednesday, June 20, 2012
A story to tell our grandchildren
I haven't been blogging much. I actually don't enjoy blogging as much as I wish I did. It always seems like I think of something to write about but then it seems inconvenient or kind of narcissistic to blog about it so I let it go. Hehe. Oh well, and then I start out blogs awkwardly like this!
Anyway, Chris and I have had a crazy couple of weeks leading into what will certainly be a crazy summer. We are moving in August down to Mankato (technically we must move before August 1 because our lease is up then and we don't want to pay double rent). We'll nest in the cities a couple of weeks before he starts grad school down there and savor being with family and friends. It is VERY hard for me to think about moving even though it's only an hour and a half away. It seems like the other side of the world! I'm going to dearly miss Minneapolis and all it's inhabitants. I'm going to really miss living with the girls downstairs in our little "community house". I'm going to be missing Seward Church, Jesus Kitchen, Salvage Yard Church, House of Hope, all the community tied to potluck at the Greenhouse, the Greenway, Seward Co-op, the Mississippi River, everything!
Well, I did promise a story so here it is:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We went to the BWCA (Boundary Waters Canoe Area) with our friends Tony and Bea (a couple) and Lydia and Joi. We went there about two weeks ago now and stayed there for 4 days, 2 of which were full days not traveling. If you know anything about the Boundary Waters you know it is entered by a huge lake and you canoe around a series of lakes and streams to get to different camping spots, etc. Anyhow, we came in on a very calm day so although the lake (Burntside Lake) was huge it was relatively easy to canoe in. The first portage was killer but we did it! It was a 1.75 miles long. Woah. Anyway, coming in it did take a while to find a camping spot since the one we wanted was taken but at the end of the day we were golden and found a really nice one. While we were there we mostly hung out and did a little exploring. That was not so much the adventure part though.
On the way out of the BWCA we again had to pass over Burntside Lake to the access point. Now, Tony had a map but didn't realize that the point he saw on the map was not our access point. This is important because later this really screwed with us. We had paddled quite a bit already (going the wrong way on one lake for a while) and done a couple of portages. Most of us were sore and sun-burned from the previous days. The water was very choppy on Burntside Lake and there were some white-caps too. Chris and I took it in stride thinking we'd all be fine. However, about half-way across the lake Tony and Bea pulled over by an island (we were "island-hopping") and said they were going to call for a tow boat to come get them because they didn't want to go on. They were not in as good of shape phyiscally and their canoe was kevlar, a really light material, so this is understandable. Lydia and Joi agreed with Tony and Bea and seemed find with it. Chris, stubborn-hearted as can be said no, words were exchanged in frustration and we canoed on. Well, after a little bit of paddling over to the next island we decided to turn around and go back. We did and Tony and Chris apologized for blowing up at each other. We said we wanted to go on (and it was $20/person to get towed anyway) and they said okay, we'll meet you there. They gave us the map and some water which was good to have later.
So we went on as determined as ever and we were doing just fine. We came close to another island continuing the method of island hopping when Chris' canoe paddle split in two! It split simply from the force of wind and water! At this point I was pretty shocked and thought we should have gone with our friends which Chris agreed to as well. I could not think of what to do. Chris looked at the map and said that we should try portaging our gear to the other side of this island since we would be closer to the access point then (and maybe we could find a cabin with a phone, since we had left our phones in the car thinking we'd be with people with phones the whole time!). So, not knowing what else to do, we took all of gear and portaged an island that was not "portagable". We had to go through all the brush and woods because there was not a real trail and it was actually quite rocky and hilly in parts. Chris had a pack on front and back and carried the canoe (crazy strength behemoth man!), I took one pack and the paddles (now one in half), water, and life vests. It was nuts. I thought we were nuts which I guess we were because we had to be.
We portaged a while until we found a series of cabins that seemed to almost be like a resort. There was a sauna and a few yurts too. We put down our stuff then and tried to see if anyone was there. Nobody in sight. We took a minute to pray together, pretty overwhelmed. My thoughts now drifted to what it would be like to spend the night and if it would make sense to try to break in to one of the cabins. We asked God for wisdom.
After establishing that the cabins were unoccupied and realizing that going further was futile (it just got steeper and it didn't look like there was another cabin nearby), I told Chris we needed to get back to water. We went down to the lake again and put all of our heavy gear in the canoes. Then we drank a little water we had left trying to refresh ourselves. Chris took it upon himself to drink a little lake water although we weren't out of the filtered water yet. He also took a long, sturdy stick and said we could "pole around" the island if need be. I asked out loud if there was any way he could fix the paddle. He looked through his pack and found a rope and then proceeded to lash the paddle together. He lashed it beautifully and we were both amazed! It worked just as well as it had before; the only difference was that he now had to dig a little deeper. We thanked God for Royal Rangers (Chris' boy scout equivalent in the Assemblies of God) and wisdom as we went out again!
Now we had some real hope, a usable paddle.
As we paddled toward another island the waves seemed to not be so harsh and I could sing again. It was great. Even though we would be later then anticipated I knew we would make it back tonight. The only thing we needed now was to keep paddling toward the access point. Surprisingly, the paddling now seemed easier and I suggested we go straight across to the access side. We made it to the other side and all we needed was to be at the access point. Looking at our map, Chris thought it was to the right of us so we paddled that way near the shore line. We went by at least 10 cabins and yet no one was around. Chris was anxious to call our friends since it had been much longer now and they probably were worried about us. We thought if we saw someone we could use their phone and call them as well as get confirmation about the direction of the access point. Well, we went on and on and even stopped to see if someone was at a cabin where we saw some lawn chairs, but no dice. Finally, we saw a van parked in front of a cabin. We knew someone must be there! As we came closer to shore an older man came out and told him we were trying to find the access point. As we showed him our map and he said that the point we were looking at wasn't the one we needed. He told us we had gone a couple of miles in the wrong direction. What?! Naturally at this point we were exhausted and I asked if we could just refill our water since we were almost out. He had his 6-year old grandson go get us water. We used his phone to try to call our friends but when we tried to call other people who would have their number we couldn't get a hold of them. The man came back to us and kindly offered to drive us over to the access point in his van and we could leave our stuff here. I had no doubt in my mind of taking him up on that offer, "YES!" I said, "Let's do it." Of course, Chris heartily agreed.
As he drove us up the hill by his cabin I remarked how phenomenal it was that I didn't have to do anything. We had been going strong since 7:30 a.m. that morning and it was now almost 5 p.m. We were both extremely grateful to the man (who also kind of looked like Sean Connery, as Chris said later). He dropped us off at our car and we said we'd see him back at the cabin. On our car was a note under the windshield wiper left by our friends...it said something like this:
Chris and Kim,
We went to town. We like you. Don't get dead. If we don't hear from you by 5:30 we are coming to look for you.
Love,
Tony, Bea, Lydia and Joi
Tony's # 555-555-5555
Laughing, we drove back to the cabin where all our stuff was. The grandpa man was there with his grandson to greet us as they went out to swim. As we got all of our stuff together and Chris figured out how to tie the canoe on again I finally asked the man's name and found out it was Leo. He was very amiable, watching as Chris tied on the canoe and talking about knots. The most touching thing is that he went into the cabin and came back with a beer, a Surly Bender, and even though it was the last one he gave it to us because "the best thing after a trip like that is to have a beer." We didn't even drink the whole can since we're not really drinkers but I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. His grandson took our "pole" stick and thanked us for the walking stick. I could not have been more grateful or willing to part with a walking stick for such a little boy.
We drove back to Ely and found our friends. There was a big group hug, of course, and Joi hugged me and picked me up off the ground in that fantastic way she has of doing that. I ordered a grilled cheesed sandwich, BLT (for Chris), potato salad and brownies at a nearby restaurant and we loaded Lydia and Joi's gear into our car and got gassed up and ready to go. There is actually more to this story, but I'll summarize. As we drove home we genuinely enjoyed each other's company (all the more so I think because of the danger we'd overcome) and played games and read "The Fellowship of the Ring." It became terrifically stormy as we went on and there was so much rain at times that you couldn't see anything. Chris pulled over a couple of times and we prayed for safety. The rain subsided a little and we were only 20 minutes from home when the car stopped working completely. Chris pulled over to the side and after trying to figure out what was wrong with Joi looking over his shoulder under an umbrella, and pee breaks on the side of the road, we called AAA. They came and Chris' dad came to pick all of us up with our stuff and we got carried home by him, again, thankful for being alive! About 1 a.m. in the morning we were all safe and sound and dropped off to sleep. So, that is the end of that epic story on how God was faithful to help us get back from the BWCA. My grandparents told me to write it down and I am glad I did for my own future grandchildren.
Anyway, Chris and I have had a crazy couple of weeks leading into what will certainly be a crazy summer. We are moving in August down to Mankato (technically we must move before August 1 because our lease is up then and we don't want to pay double rent). We'll nest in the cities a couple of weeks before he starts grad school down there and savor being with family and friends. It is VERY hard for me to think about moving even though it's only an hour and a half away. It seems like the other side of the world! I'm going to dearly miss Minneapolis and all it's inhabitants. I'm going to really miss living with the girls downstairs in our little "community house". I'm going to be missing Seward Church, Jesus Kitchen, Salvage Yard Church, House of Hope, all the community tied to potluck at the Greenhouse, the Greenway, Seward Co-op, the Mississippi River, everything!
Well, I did promise a story so here it is:
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
We went to the BWCA (Boundary Waters Canoe Area) with our friends Tony and Bea (a couple) and Lydia and Joi. We went there about two weeks ago now and stayed there for 4 days, 2 of which were full days not traveling. If you know anything about the Boundary Waters you know it is entered by a huge lake and you canoe around a series of lakes and streams to get to different camping spots, etc. Anyhow, we came in on a very calm day so although the lake (Burntside Lake) was huge it was relatively easy to canoe in. The first portage was killer but we did it! It was a 1.75 miles long. Woah. Anyway, coming in it did take a while to find a camping spot since the one we wanted was taken but at the end of the day we were golden and found a really nice one. While we were there we mostly hung out and did a little exploring. That was not so much the adventure part though.
On the way out of the BWCA we again had to pass over Burntside Lake to the access point. Now, Tony had a map but didn't realize that the point he saw on the map was not our access point. This is important because later this really screwed with us. We had paddled quite a bit already (going the wrong way on one lake for a while) and done a couple of portages. Most of us were sore and sun-burned from the previous days. The water was very choppy on Burntside Lake and there were some white-caps too. Chris and I took it in stride thinking we'd all be fine. However, about half-way across the lake Tony and Bea pulled over by an island (we were "island-hopping") and said they were going to call for a tow boat to come get them because they didn't want to go on. They were not in as good of shape phyiscally and their canoe was kevlar, a really light material, so this is understandable. Lydia and Joi agreed with Tony and Bea and seemed find with it. Chris, stubborn-hearted as can be said no, words were exchanged in frustration and we canoed on. Well, after a little bit of paddling over to the next island we decided to turn around and go back. We did and Tony and Chris apologized for blowing up at each other. We said we wanted to go on (and it was $20/person to get towed anyway) and they said okay, we'll meet you there. They gave us the map and some water which was good to have later.
So we went on as determined as ever and we were doing just fine. We came close to another island continuing the method of island hopping when Chris' canoe paddle split in two! It split simply from the force of wind and water! At this point I was pretty shocked and thought we should have gone with our friends which Chris agreed to as well. I could not think of what to do. Chris looked at the map and said that we should try portaging our gear to the other side of this island since we would be closer to the access point then (and maybe we could find a cabin with a phone, since we had left our phones in the car thinking we'd be with people with phones the whole time!). So, not knowing what else to do, we took all of gear and portaged an island that was not "portagable". We had to go through all the brush and woods because there was not a real trail and it was actually quite rocky and hilly in parts. Chris had a pack on front and back and carried the canoe (crazy strength behemoth man!), I took one pack and the paddles (now one in half), water, and life vests. It was nuts. I thought we were nuts which I guess we were because we had to be.
We portaged a while until we found a series of cabins that seemed to almost be like a resort. There was a sauna and a few yurts too. We put down our stuff then and tried to see if anyone was there. Nobody in sight. We took a minute to pray together, pretty overwhelmed. My thoughts now drifted to what it would be like to spend the night and if it would make sense to try to break in to one of the cabins. We asked God for wisdom.
After establishing that the cabins were unoccupied and realizing that going further was futile (it just got steeper and it didn't look like there was another cabin nearby), I told Chris we needed to get back to water. We went down to the lake again and put all of our heavy gear in the canoes. Then we drank a little water we had left trying to refresh ourselves. Chris took it upon himself to drink a little lake water although we weren't out of the filtered water yet. He also took a long, sturdy stick and said we could "pole around" the island if need be. I asked out loud if there was any way he could fix the paddle. He looked through his pack and found a rope and then proceeded to lash the paddle together. He lashed it beautifully and we were both amazed! It worked just as well as it had before; the only difference was that he now had to dig a little deeper. We thanked God for Royal Rangers (Chris' boy scout equivalent in the Assemblies of God) and wisdom as we went out again!
Now we had some real hope, a usable paddle.
As we paddled toward another island the waves seemed to not be so harsh and I could sing again. It was great. Even though we would be later then anticipated I knew we would make it back tonight. The only thing we needed now was to keep paddling toward the access point. Surprisingly, the paddling now seemed easier and I suggested we go straight across to the access side. We made it to the other side and all we needed was to be at the access point. Looking at our map, Chris thought it was to the right of us so we paddled that way near the shore line. We went by at least 10 cabins and yet no one was around. Chris was anxious to call our friends since it had been much longer now and they probably were worried about us. We thought if we saw someone we could use their phone and call them as well as get confirmation about the direction of the access point. Well, we went on and on and even stopped to see if someone was at a cabin where we saw some lawn chairs, but no dice. Finally, we saw a van parked in front of a cabin. We knew someone must be there! As we came closer to shore an older man came out and told him we were trying to find the access point. As we showed him our map and he said that the point we were looking at wasn't the one we needed. He told us we had gone a couple of miles in the wrong direction. What?! Naturally at this point we were exhausted and I asked if we could just refill our water since we were almost out. He had his 6-year old grandson go get us water. We used his phone to try to call our friends but when we tried to call other people who would have their number we couldn't get a hold of them. The man came back to us and kindly offered to drive us over to the access point in his van and we could leave our stuff here. I had no doubt in my mind of taking him up on that offer, "YES!" I said, "Let's do it." Of course, Chris heartily agreed.
As he drove us up the hill by his cabin I remarked how phenomenal it was that I didn't have to do anything. We had been going strong since 7:30 a.m. that morning and it was now almost 5 p.m. We were both extremely grateful to the man (who also kind of looked like Sean Connery, as Chris said later). He dropped us off at our car and we said we'd see him back at the cabin. On our car was a note under the windshield wiper left by our friends...it said something like this:
Chris and Kim,
We went to town. We like you. Don't get dead. If we don't hear from you by 5:30 we are coming to look for you.
Love,
Tony, Bea, Lydia and Joi
Tony's # 555-555-5555
Laughing, we drove back to the cabin where all our stuff was. The grandpa man was there with his grandson to greet us as they went out to swim. As we got all of our stuff together and Chris figured out how to tie the canoe on again I finally asked the man's name and found out it was Leo. He was very amiable, watching as Chris tied on the canoe and talking about knots. The most touching thing is that he went into the cabin and came back with a beer, a Surly Bender, and even though it was the last one he gave it to us because "the best thing after a trip like that is to have a beer." We didn't even drink the whole can since we're not really drinkers but I thought it was the sweetest thing ever. His grandson took our "pole" stick and thanked us for the walking stick. I could not have been more grateful or willing to part with a walking stick for such a little boy.
We drove back to Ely and found our friends. There was a big group hug, of course, and Joi hugged me and picked me up off the ground in that fantastic way she has of doing that. I ordered a grilled cheesed sandwich, BLT (for Chris), potato salad and brownies at a nearby restaurant and we loaded Lydia and Joi's gear into our car and got gassed up and ready to go. There is actually more to this story, but I'll summarize. As we drove home we genuinely enjoyed each other's company (all the more so I think because of the danger we'd overcome) and played games and read "The Fellowship of the Ring." It became terrifically stormy as we went on and there was so much rain at times that you couldn't see anything. Chris pulled over a couple of times and we prayed for safety. The rain subsided a little and we were only 20 minutes from home when the car stopped working completely. Chris pulled over to the side and after trying to figure out what was wrong with Joi looking over his shoulder under an umbrella, and pee breaks on the side of the road, we called AAA. They came and Chris' dad came to pick all of us up with our stuff and we got carried home by him, again, thankful for being alive! About 1 a.m. in the morning we were all safe and sound and dropped off to sleep. So, that is the end of that epic story on how God was faithful to help us get back from the BWCA. My grandparents told me to write it down and I am glad I did for my own future grandchildren.
Wednesday, April 25, 2012
Thoughts on an April afternoon at Powderhorn Park
I just wrote this as I was sitting in powderhorn park this afternoon after an "interesting" day of substitute teaching. It was in a very diverse school that I like to visit despite it's lack of prestige. Anyway, something got me thinking (maybe coffee coupled with the Spirit) as I was sitting and I wrote this:
As humans there is a lot of pressure on us. Of course there is the basic pressure to survive or even pass on our genes to the next generation but there is a hunger, a gnawing appetite for greater purpose still. We feel like we are here for something although we may not know what that something is. We have dreams of a legacy, a rightness being carried on that transcends our own feeble efforts. We hope, we yearn -- even in selfishness -- for peace and justice carried out and goodness overcoming evil. Many of us have this sense of right and wrong although we are misguided on where it's essence stems from at times. I see it all over in the faces of people. People in the park, in the schools I work at, in the coffee shop and the grocery store, in the hospital where I visit a friend, in the neighborhood I walk. There is a pining and a striving for something more. There is an acknowledgment that things are not quite how they are supposed to be. We know -- adults as well as children -- and maybe children more at times -- something has been lost.
What is lost? God. God himself (I use the masculine form for simplicity) is not lost but our connection to him. Our dwelling in and breathing in the One who fulfills everything in every way. We are like children without parents trying to care for one another but failing. We are like sailboats without wind in the doldrums of a stagnant sea. What we need is him. For the Maker indeed knows what we are made for and as it happens it is for him. It is for us to know and love him. It is for understanding of his greatness in truth and love to manifest itself in being shown to others. As we live, our lives become emblems of his sacrifice to bring us all back to his Father heart.
I'll be honest, I am yet trying to be still and know him, to be blown by that Wind. I am often forgetful that I am not an orphan any longer but a daughter of a majestic King. Even so, I am steadily coming closer and closer to the One who draws all to himself. At times I am conscious that I almost cannot help it. If I turn from him I start to get cold and numb and I am not inclined to go back to that. I am also aware of how much further I have to burrow into his wings and be completely free to take flight. I could chose to leave but I can't imagine why. Yes, even when his Wind blows me something fierce and I question the kindness I am reminded of his Father's heart that disciplines those he loves. I am not being forsaken; I am being found again and again. My will for something beautiful is being reawakened. Even as the reopening of love causes some pain, the desire for the real and strong crushes the will for something temporary and trite. Little by little, I am learning to see his face and learn his voice leading.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Entitlement Culture
It's funny how your mind can fixated on different things from one day to the next.
Yesterday was Easter and it was a glorious day. I love Easter. It is my favorite holiday partly because it means so much (Jesus' death and resurrection is the rock of the Christian faith and is how we can know God!) and partly because the traditions I've been discovering around it (lent fasting, the Pasca (Orthodox Christian) late night celebration) and probably also that is not so commericialized and happens right around the budding of trees and flowers. I took dozens of photos yesterday of our lively church brunch and family get-togethers which I'll try to put up a few of on here in time. For now, I want to turn my thoughts to something I've been pondering most of the day.
As you may know I substitute teach in the Minneapolis Public School Distrist. Today I returned after a week and a day of spring break. I ended up in a special education class in North Minneapolis. There were two black women there who were supposed to be assisting me but they did little. Not that it mattered too much, the children were very focused and I was actually very impressed by them. However, it disturbed me how lazy these women felt they could be. Not only did I have to go over to them and introduce myself when I came in and ask for guidance in the schedule of the day but one woman had the audacity to take a nap while she was sitting in the back of the room and they both were on their cell phones texting or using the internet frequently instead of engaging the students. These women were probably somewhere in their late twenties to forties (one older, one younger) but they just emanated this sense of entitlement. Anyhow, it made me wonder why and where the black culture generally gets this attitude. I know it is not just black people and I am aware that this is a generalization. Entitlement itself is an issue that pervades the whole culture of the United States of America but happens to particularly be insidious in the black culture. I found an article from a black website that gave me some insight:
http://www.blackinformant.com/
My purpose in writing about this is not to judge or continue propagating stereotypes but it is to thoughtfully consider how the black culture in American and the wider culture in general has become so plagued by "entitlement issues." I know I am not safe from having this attitude at times. In fact I can pinpoint specific foolish actions I've made in my life that were more based on my attitude of "deserving something" than wisdom. Entitlement masquerades itself as individuality often. I'd like to start a dialogue about this because it's something that hurts me to see it's effects (like the negative aspects of the black culture) and honestly, I have a lot to learn about dealing with when I see it in other people (or myself).
It's interesting to realize that the Bible condemns those who "puff themselves up" but calls the ones who "come as children." At it's root I think that is the evil of the entitlement attitude. We are precious and made in the image of God. We are of amazing value to His Kingdom yet we are sinful and the consequence of sin is death. We are deserving of death (not the Kingdom) but God gives us the Kingdom. The only way to enter the second though is to realize the first.
Please share any thoughts about ways we can combat the entitlement attitude in our culture (or other cultures, such as the general black culture of America), churches, homes, schools, and in ourselves. I genuinely would like to have a thoughtful dialogue about this.
Yesterday was Easter and it was a glorious day. I love Easter. It is my favorite holiday partly because it means so much (Jesus' death and resurrection is the rock of the Christian faith and is how we can know God!) and partly because the traditions I've been discovering around it (lent fasting, the Pasca (Orthodox Christian) late night celebration) and probably also that is not so commericialized and happens right around the budding of trees and flowers. I took dozens of photos yesterday of our lively church brunch and family get-togethers which I'll try to put up a few of on here in time. For now, I want to turn my thoughts to something I've been pondering most of the day.
As you may know I substitute teach in the Minneapolis Public School Distrist. Today I returned after a week and a day of spring break. I ended up in a special education class in North Minneapolis. There were two black women there who were supposed to be assisting me but they did little. Not that it mattered too much, the children were very focused and I was actually very impressed by them. However, it disturbed me how lazy these women felt they could be. Not only did I have to go over to them and introduce myself when I came in and ask for guidance in the schedule of the day but one woman had the audacity to take a nap while she was sitting in the back of the room and they both were on their cell phones texting or using the internet frequently instead of engaging the students. These women were probably somewhere in their late twenties to forties (one older, one younger) but they just emanated this sense of entitlement. Anyhow, it made me wonder why and where the black culture generally gets this attitude. I know it is not just black people and I am aware that this is a generalization. Entitlement itself is an issue that pervades the whole culture of the United States of America but happens to particularly be insidious in the black culture. I found an article from a black website that gave me some insight:
http://www.blackinformant.com/
My purpose in writing about this is not to judge or continue propagating stereotypes but it is to thoughtfully consider how the black culture in American and the wider culture in general has become so plagued by "entitlement issues." I know I am not safe from having this attitude at times. In fact I can pinpoint specific foolish actions I've made in my life that were more based on my attitude of "deserving something" than wisdom. Entitlement masquerades itself as individuality often. I'd like to start a dialogue about this because it's something that hurts me to see it's effects (like the negative aspects of the black culture) and honestly, I have a lot to learn about dealing with when I see it in other people (or myself).
It's interesting to realize that the Bible condemns those who "puff themselves up" but calls the ones who "come as children." At it's root I think that is the evil of the entitlement attitude. We are precious and made in the image of God. We are of amazing value to His Kingdom yet we are sinful and the consequence of sin is death. We are deserving of death (not the Kingdom) but God gives us the Kingdom. The only way to enter the second though is to realize the first.
Please share any thoughts about ways we can combat the entitlement attitude in our culture (or other cultures, such as the general black culture of America), churches, homes, schools, and in ourselves. I genuinely would like to have a thoughtful dialogue about this.
Monday, March 19, 2012
Coffee and Chocolate
It is lent season. I am a newbie at observing lent. Yet I like it.
I kind of observed lent two years ago trying to give up "criticism" -- honestly one of my flaws in my marriage relationship. It was actually really good for me to do that. Last year I gave up facebook which was shockingly easy. I didn't really want to go on facebook after I made a point not to go on it after two weeks. I knew I wasn't missing anything. In fact, going back on facebook was weird. I realized how surface level it can be and it didn't have much to draw me back in. I had developed closer relationships with people that I saw in real life -- so it was definitely valuable. I am on facebook again but generally limit myself to Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday in checking it. This year I decided to give up my growing coffee addiction and chocolate. I'll be real in saying that just last week I counted the days and couldn't believe I had so much longer to go. Haha.
So, as of yet I ate a tiny bit of cacao (which is what chocolate is derived from) in a raw fruit dessert I made for my housemate's birthday. I honestly didn't know cacao was chocolate until my friends pointed it out to me. I decided to eat it anyway since it was such a different form and not one I had ever tried that I can remember. Chocolate has been relatively easy to give up. Definitely there are times I see something chocolate that I really want -- and I almost justified eating a chocolate mousse because it wasn't a "chocolate bar" -- most of my standard intake of chocolate is. However, I was convicted by a friend. Hehe. Coffee has been a different story. It's not so much that I crave it. I do want it sometimes, but more so for the physical/chemical effect it gives -- the zoom. I have been allowing myself more naps and enjoying that new rhythm. However, I am grateful it has not been cloudy and instead gloriously sunny lately.
Even though I am doing fine in not having chocolate or coffee I wonder if I am fasting "right". I don't want to do something legalistically or even just do it out of habit. I want to be contemplative of why I am doing it. The idea behind lent as far as I understand it is to sacrifice something as an act of identifying with Jesus Christ who sacrificed his place in heaven (for a time) to be with us on earth and even sacrificed himself for sin so "him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). This is absolutely crazy beautiful. I want to focus my energy and thoughts on this more. I want a closer relationship with the Maker of all good things so by giving some up I can appreciate more.
If you wish, what are you doing for lent, if anything? Why? How's it going?
I kind of observed lent two years ago trying to give up "criticism" -- honestly one of my flaws in my marriage relationship. It was actually really good for me to do that. Last year I gave up facebook which was shockingly easy. I didn't really want to go on facebook after I made a point not to go on it after two weeks. I knew I wasn't missing anything. In fact, going back on facebook was weird. I realized how surface level it can be and it didn't have much to draw me back in. I had developed closer relationships with people that I saw in real life -- so it was definitely valuable. I am on facebook again but generally limit myself to Tuesday, Thursday, and Sunday in checking it. This year I decided to give up my growing coffee addiction and chocolate. I'll be real in saying that just last week I counted the days and couldn't believe I had so much longer to go. Haha.
So, as of yet I ate a tiny bit of cacao (which is what chocolate is derived from) in a raw fruit dessert I made for my housemate's birthday. I honestly didn't know cacao was chocolate until my friends pointed it out to me. I decided to eat it anyway since it was such a different form and not one I had ever tried that I can remember. Chocolate has been relatively easy to give up. Definitely there are times I see something chocolate that I really want -- and I almost justified eating a chocolate mousse because it wasn't a "chocolate bar" -- most of my standard intake of chocolate is. However, I was convicted by a friend. Hehe. Coffee has been a different story. It's not so much that I crave it. I do want it sometimes, but more so for the physical/chemical effect it gives -- the zoom. I have been allowing myself more naps and enjoying that new rhythm. However, I am grateful it has not been cloudy and instead gloriously sunny lately.
Even though I am doing fine in not having chocolate or coffee I wonder if I am fasting "right". I don't want to do something legalistically or even just do it out of habit. I want to be contemplative of why I am doing it. The idea behind lent as far as I understand it is to sacrifice something as an act of identifying with Jesus Christ who sacrificed his place in heaven (for a time) to be with us on earth and even sacrificed himself for sin so "him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Corinthians 5:21). This is absolutely crazy beautiful. I want to focus my energy and thoughts on this more. I want a closer relationship with the Maker of all good things so by giving some up I can appreciate more.
If you wish, what are you doing for lent, if anything? Why? How's it going?
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
"Love Songs"
Earlier this morning I was listening to the "Feist" station on Pandora and I was surprised by how many "love songs" were playing. I guess I typically avoid that kind of music (even though I do like Feist). However, It is pretty difficult to listen to pop music of any kind without hitting a "love song". Now you many be wondering why I am putting "love song" in quotes. I felt compelled to put it in the quotations because as I was listening to the lyrics (a very important part of the music for me) I realized just how selfish and childish sounding most of the songs were. They were not so much about love that endures, a love that is faithful like the one described in 1 Corinthians 13, but about a feeling, even sometimes it seemed, just hormonal compulsion, and maybe at it's grandest, a reflection on life.
Now, to many people, maybe this is what "love" is...I don't know. Yeah, it probably is. :o( How disappointing and trite if that's what "love" relationships end up being.
I am grateful that Jesus calls me to a much greater love than that. I am grateful for the imperfection and yet commitment I experience through Chris and my marriage. We have our struggles but our marriage (our love) is based on something and Someone who created the Heavens and Earth and sustains them by His being. Our "love" (blast that word, it's been so abused!) is something that expands with us. It is not in a dream, it is not in a vaccuum. It is shaped and forged and strengthened and even spilled out in and on a community of friends and family.
I am going to put all of 1 Corinthians 13 on here and I want to note that I know this isn't about a marriage or love relationship -- but it's explanation of love is the one all kinds of love need -- friendship, family, marriage, community, etc. How much greater and deeper and richer is that love of Jesus (and how much greater and deeper and richer does it make our lives).
1 Corinthians 13
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice with unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge , it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; bu the greatest of these is love."
Now, to many people, maybe this is what "love" is...I don't know. Yeah, it probably is. :o( How disappointing and trite if that's what "love" relationships end up being.
I am grateful that Jesus calls me to a much greater love than that. I am grateful for the imperfection and yet commitment I experience through Chris and my marriage. We have our struggles but our marriage (our love) is based on something and Someone who created the Heavens and Earth and sustains them by His being. Our "love" (blast that word, it's been so abused!) is something that expands with us. It is not in a dream, it is not in a vaccuum. It is shaped and forged and strengthened and even spilled out in and on a community of friends and family.
I am going to put all of 1 Corinthians 13 on here and I want to note that I know this isn't about a marriage or love relationship -- but it's explanation of love is the one all kinds of love need -- friendship, family, marriage, community, etc. How much greater and deeper and richer is that love of Jesus (and how much greater and deeper and richer does it make our lives).
1 Corinthians 13
"If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love, I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I give all my possessions to feed the poor, and if I surrender my body to be burned, but do not have love, it profits me nothing.
Love is patient, love is kind, and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice with unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.
Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge , it will be done away. For we know in part and we prophesy in part; but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; bu the greatest of these is love."
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