I can finally share my music!

I created a bandcamp page so now folks can listen to some of my music:

http://kimberlystelter.bandcamp.com/album/i-cant-do-anything-without-you

Hopefully the link will work.

I was stuck today by the short biography of St. Anthony in my Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals book.  Here it is:

Anthony of Egypt (251-336)

Anthony was born in Egypt in the middle of the third century and lost his parents at a young age, inheriting a fair amount of land and wealth.  Soon after, when he heard a gospel reading in church prompting him to "go sell what you possess and give it to the poor," he did just that, vowing to dedicate his life thereafter to God.  Anthony lived for a time in his native home, pursuing prayerful asceticism.  After fifteen years, at the age of thirty-five, he withdrew to the solitude of the desert and began his monastic life of prayer, study and work.  After many years of living in the desert, Anthony remained whole and healthy, and he radiated compassion and joy.  He lived to the age of 105 and is remembered as the father of the church's first monastic movement.

Pretty extraordinary.

Reflecting a bit on his life made me realize how I am not so devoted to God as I would like to portray myself.  I wrote a song called "Devotion" prompted by the Spirit.  I am still working through it but maybe I'll put it on the bandcamp page when I feel ready.  Here is a little taste of some of the lyrics though: 

"You ask me if I truly love You/  Love is not emotion or even a rule/ I must follow You and look the fool/ Feeding sheep, orphans, and widows too."

The start of a song...or just a silly poem?

There is a lack of what whitens Winter in these here parts.

As I biked (yes, biked) from the co-op I sang this little song:

I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota Winter, you ain't so cold
By this time I shoulda froze
But here I am biking on a road

I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota Winter, you ain't so cold
And if I may be so bold
Green and brown, you're getting old


slower, dreamy like:
Snow, oh snow, with snow there's something magical
Sun and snow, I wish I had them both
Now I see, global warming might be happening


I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota winter, you ain't so cold
Although I like you, don't you know
Autumn-like weather, you got to go!
 
If you can think of another verse, add on!  It's kind of fun.  And yes, I do want it to snow!

Mary v. Martha

This past week or so I've been feeling much, much too busy.  In the North American advent season, it seems it is almost unavoidable to get caught in the Christmas rush.

Which is ironic since we're supposedly waiting.  

Yet how many times do I say I am seeking God, longing for Him, when I am actually just devising my own plans because I feel like I don't have time for being with Him.  Sadly, much too much.

So, it's Mary v. Martha: either sit at His feet and be captured by His Love and His Spirit, or be distracted by all the things there are to do.

Advent/Poetry

Hello folks out there!

It is the Christmas (Advent) season and I am getting more excited for it.   I like following the church calendar more. 

Anyway, I shared an "illustrated" poem this weekend at the art crawl we participated in at my church.  It was the poem entitled "Spot" about my dearly beloved car (which went from being kind of ghetto with one mismatched door to an art car that stated "King Jesus is the Living Water" on the back).  The poem is actually the first entry on this blog.  :o)  I had a painting I did for Chris and some origami in the show as well.  I also played ukulele and sang with my friend Jane.  Although there weren't many people there were some friends who came by who I told about the show and I think it was a success. 

Most of all, it made me think of how I used to write poetry.  I wrote a poem just this last week.  It's kind of a sad poem but I think it conveys an experience we can all relate to well.


Tuesday Afternoon

There is always something like this,
Something misplaced that shouldn't be
Something of monetary value 
Making tiny tears wisp my eyelids
Causing me to stare out into the open from my car window
Noticing the design of that house's siding
The blue of the sky behind it
And wondering, why am I here?
More misplaced on a Tuesday afternoon
Than the item I look for

"I can't do anything without You"

Well, folks....I have to admit that right now I have been hit with a brick of insecurity.  It may have to do with Jane and I trying to record some songs together to make an "album" -- all of a sudden I feel very uncertain of myself and what  I'm doing with music.  It's not that I'm going to try to make money off of this.  The idea is to make something I can give to family and friends as a Christmas gift.  However, it's bringing up all kinds of doubts.  Perhaps in my heart I do dream to be good enough of an artist that people will want to listen to my music who don't even know me.  I'm so very shy when it comes to actually performing in front of people though -- even good friends sometimes.  I feel it is one of those areas in my life God still is working on in me.

God, may Your kingdom come and You will be done in my life here.  As I sang: I can't do anything without you.  I can't do good on my own.  It's true. 

Please restore my confidence and let it be by your Grace.

All those who read this: I appreciate your prayers in this as well.  Thanks.

Kingdom come, will be done

I have recently come to the exhilarating and terrifying conclusion that God does indeed intend to bring his Kingdom on earth through me (and other followers of Him).

Maybe this is too simple of a statement.

It would seem somewhat obvious; afterall, Jesus explicitly asks us to pray for God's Kingdom to come when his disciples ask him how to pray.  Yet again, in Matthew 28:18-20 there is the famous commission:

And Jesus came and said to them,  "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.  
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."

Of course, this is to his disciples directly, but it was meant to replicate itself and it in fact, did.

Everything I do should be centered around the Spirit's desire to work through me to draw all people to Himself.  I fail at this often, and yet, I am comforted that God has used me and is refining me and even making me desire more and more to be his child, his reflection.  One of my favorite verses proclaims,


"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, no counting men's sins against them.  And he has committed us to this ministry of reconciliation.
We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us.  We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God.  God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."  -2 Corinthians 5:18-21

It is easy to become numb to the Spirit.  We can be distracted by so much.  We can live our lives self-righteously or self-importantly.  We can even do good things.  Yet, as one of my friend's showed me the other week, when we stop just trying to be "good Christians" and open ourselves up to the Spirit we end up doing things like hanging out with our Somali friends and making acquaintance with one of their Somali friends who has need of all kinds of basic things like a winter coat and cookware and no way to get it.  Then, we tell him that our church will be able to provide these things because that's what we do.  Later, we actually do it.  We sacrifice some time and money and energy and learn about another culture and feel a bit foolish perhaps, but it's so worthy.  Actually listening to the Spirit and being willing to be used has repercussions beyond anything we can do with our own power.


I could go on and on.  I know what I've written isn't very coherent.  However, I feel it is vital to say either way.  I am very amazed that Jesus wants to use us.  In some ways it is logical because he did give us the Holy Spirit to help us when he left.  In some ways, it seems ridiculous, being that humans are so fickle.  Yet, God is changing the world through us.  That is his plan.  Let's be his ambassadors.

 

God made man

As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” – Hosea 6:3, prophecy about Jesus


I am reading "Life of Pi" by Yann Patel right now.  It is my housemate's book.  I am very much enjoying community living by the by.  We had our house-warming open house party and it was fantastic! 


Mmmm...as I said before I'm reading "Life of Pi" and the story is mostly about an East Indian teenager, Pi,  who grows up as the son of a zookeeper and is fascinated by both animals and religion.  In one part of the story he explains how he came to meet Jesus Christ.  He read through the gospels with a priest on a vacation after venturing into his parish.  It struck me because Pi was so captured by how Jesus was a limited deity (or rather, he chose to limit himself); as it describes in Phillipians 2:6-8, Jesus Christ:


"Who, though he in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men.  And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross."

Pi contrasts Jesus, a simple man plagued by thirst, tiredness, sadness and other woes of being human, with the Hindu gods who have "shine and power and might" and chose to take on their full cosmic size to impress and intimidate others.  The God-man Jesus Christ, rather, lives out his days with followers who misunderstand him often and dies a horrific death enduring pain and mockery.


I have often had a difficult time truly viewing Jesus Christ as I think he ought to be -- in awe -- in deep admiration.  Interestingly, Patel's writing of Pi's thoughts on the sheer ludicrosity of Jesus's humanity (even with his miracles) pulled my heart towards Jesus in a new way.  I mostly don't even think of the humiliation he faced.  So God was just a man, it's taken for granted.  That he was God, well, yes, but he was a man too, so that's not so bad for him to limit himself, is it?  Yet, of course, it must have been unbearable at times!  Why did I forget that God being a man does not make him any less God and any less difficult to restrain himself?  How often do I think the world should revolve around me?  Yet Jesus Christ, with every right to authority, lets it go.  More confounding still, as it says in "Life of Pi", why did he take on our days and "wish death upon himself" -- as the priest answers Pi again and again with one word, "Love."

Love.

Truly, Jesus Christ is not man-made God like the Hindu gods who playfully show off.  He is a God made man.  Beautiful beyond words with truth and love joined together to destroy the power of death.  As such, it is only fitting then:

Philippians 2:9-11 continues,
"Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."