some poems (possibly a song)

I am taking part in a 7 songs/7 days writing challenge.  Yes, it's tough.  Anyway, it's made me unearth a little bit of poetry I may turn into a song:

 Gray and cloudy day, wisps of blue come in view
I wonder about my world, what should I do?
Life is any number of things
Love is what will give me wings
Yet it all adds up to You

There is not one thing without You
I can be fascinated, dedicated to
All your creatures that live
Lest I forget, you did beget it all
You will not let me forget and fall


Praise You, Illuminate
Let my heart shine with your weight
I know not how to sing to You
I only know praise is due


Let colors shine brighter
Let winds blow the trees
Let all of Creation
Fall on its knees


I want to see lighter
I want to see all the miracles of the ordinary
To augment each hue


.....


There is none before me
There is none beside me
Except and only
Jesus my Friend
The King of all worlds
Of Beginning and the End
Unfurled his royal robe
Naked, became man
Now who can deserve this?
Truly I don't know one
You never could earn it
To worship Creator's Son
It's only the mercy
Uncontested beauty of Love
We did not know that there was
Until He revealed it
And then our eyes were opened

Wider now


The Cross, see the height, see the depth, see the length, see the width, He would come
Extraordinary, extraordinary love has come

death and life

Chris' grandpa died yesterday.  I am so grateful that we went to visit him this last Sunday and talked with him, prayed with him, joked with him, held his hand and hugged him in his bed.  It's difficult to know how to feel times like this.  He was not doing well at the end of his life although he was still extremely pleasant.  He was such a delightful, sweet man.  I didn't know him very long or very well relatively speaking but as much as I knew him he was wonderful.  He was my grandpa too.  He always said what a pretty girl I was and gave me compliments and just seemed to relish being with people when he was around, even if he was tired sometimes.  I will never forget last Easter when Chris and I brought Sumita to his parent's house for dinner and he chatted it up with her and told her he liked her and her tattoos (you must see Sumita to know why this means so much, most people would be a little wary of her from her looks).  He also talked with the African people that Chris' parents had over.  He was just so open and it was grand.  We will miss him very much but I feel that he is with Jesus now.

As I think about his life and death I think about mine as well.  To know there is an end makes me realize how strangely short this life is and how much I should cherish it and use it to do things that are good, to be good (through God's strength and grace).  I've been substitute teaching since last November and I've thought about what I want my "career" to be but as it were I have also been given a word from God that helped me not fret about this.  I know I want to work with children but I also know that I don't want my career to consume me.  In fact, I feel more and more like putting all my energy into a job is not what God asks of me at all.  I feel most alive when I am serving in ministry whether that be Jesus Kitchen or leading musical worship or learning about different cultures within the Church.  I love being part of the neighborhood we live in and taking walks in it and visiting people who live nearby.  I feel called to create music and write.  I feel called to care about the "least of these" and do something about it.  I feel called to live in a way that is not just surviving but is honest about struggles while transcending them by the Grace and Power of Jesus Christ, the Lamb of God.  There is so much more life in that than trying to pursue being an "expert" at something.  I just want to live and in the end I want my life to have glorified God and helped others in that process.  All this is much easier said than done but I think the key thing is to keep perspective.  When I think about the big picture of things it makes my decisions about now clearer.  I need so much grace to be who God really made me to be and I am glad that I do not live (or even die) on my own strength.