There is a lack of what whitens Winter in these here parts.
As I biked (yes, biked) from the co-op I sang this little song:
I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota Winter, you ain't so cold
By this time I shoulda froze
But here I am biking on a road
I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota Winter, you ain't so cold
And if I may be so bold
Green and brown, you're getting old
slower, dreamy like:
Snow, oh snow, with snow there's something magical
Sun and snow, I wish I had them both
Now I see, global warming might be happening
I wonder where the snow did go?
Minnesota winter, you ain't so cold
Although I like you, don't you know
Autumn-like weather, you got to go!
If you can think of another verse, add on! It's kind of fun. And yes, I do want it to snow!
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Thursday, December 8, 2011
Mary v. Martha
This past week or so I've been feeling much, much too busy. In the North American advent season, it seems it is almost unavoidable to get caught in the Christmas rush.
Which is ironic since we're supposedly waiting.
Yet how many times do I say I am seeking God, longing for Him, when I am actually just devising my own plans because I feel like I don't have time for being with Him. Sadly, much too much.
So, it's Mary v. Martha: either sit at His feet and be captured by His Love and His Spirit, or be distracted by all the things there are to do.
Which is ironic since we're supposedly waiting.
Yet how many times do I say I am seeking God, longing for Him, when I am actually just devising my own plans because I feel like I don't have time for being with Him. Sadly, much too much.
So, it's Mary v. Martha: either sit at His feet and be captured by His Love and His Spirit, or be distracted by all the things there are to do.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Advent/Poetry
Hello folks out there!
It is the Christmas (Advent) season and I am getting more excited for it. I like following the church calendar more.
Anyway, I shared an "illustrated" poem this weekend at the art crawl we participated in at my church. It was the poem entitled "Spot" about my dearly beloved car (which went from being kind of ghetto with one mismatched door to an art car that stated "King Jesus is the Living Water" on the back). The poem is actually the first entry on this blog. :o) I had a painting I did for Chris and some origami in the show as well. I also played ukulele and sang with my friend Jane. Although there weren't many people there were some friends who came by who I told about the show and I think it was a success.
Most of all, it made me think of how I used to write poetry. I wrote a poem just this last week. It's kind of a sad poem but I think it conveys an experience we can all relate to well.
Tuesday Afternoon
There is always something like this,
Something misplaced that shouldn't be
Something of monetary value
Making tiny tears wisp my eyelids
Causing me to stare out into the open from my car window
Noticing the design of that house's siding
The blue of the sky behind it
And wondering, why am I here?
More misplaced on a Tuesday afternoon
Than the item I look for
It is the Christmas (Advent) season and I am getting more excited for it. I like following the church calendar more.
Anyway, I shared an "illustrated" poem this weekend at the art crawl we participated in at my church. It was the poem entitled "Spot" about my dearly beloved car (which went from being kind of ghetto with one mismatched door to an art car that stated "King Jesus is the Living Water" on the back). The poem is actually the first entry on this blog. :o) I had a painting I did for Chris and some origami in the show as well. I also played ukulele and sang with my friend Jane. Although there weren't many people there were some friends who came by who I told about the show and I think it was a success.
Most of all, it made me think of how I used to write poetry. I wrote a poem just this last week. It's kind of a sad poem but I think it conveys an experience we can all relate to well.
Tuesday Afternoon
There is always something like this,
Something misplaced that shouldn't be
Something of monetary value
Making tiny tears wisp my eyelids
Causing me to stare out into the open from my car window
Noticing the design of that house's siding
The blue of the sky behind it
And wondering, why am I here?
More misplaced on a Tuesday afternoon
Than the item I look for
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
"I can't do anything without You"
Well, folks....I have to admit that right now I have been hit with a brick of insecurity. It may have to do with Jane and I trying to record some songs together to make an "album" -- all of a sudden I feel very uncertain of myself and what I'm doing with music. It's not that I'm going to try to make money off of this. The idea is to make something I can give to family and friends as a Christmas gift. However, it's bringing up all kinds of doubts. Perhaps in my heart I do dream to be good enough of an artist that people will want to listen to my music who don't even know me. I'm so very shy when it comes to actually performing in front of people though -- even good friends sometimes. I feel it is one of those areas in my life God still is working on in me.
God, may Your kingdom come and You will be done in my life here. As I sang: I can't do anything without you. I can't do good on my own. It's true.
Please restore my confidence and let it be by your Grace.
All those who read this: I appreciate your prayers in this as well. Thanks.
God, may Your kingdom come and You will be done in my life here. As I sang: I can't do anything without you. I can't do good on my own. It's true.
Please restore my confidence and let it be by your Grace.
All those who read this: I appreciate your prayers in this as well. Thanks.
Monday, October 24, 2011
Kingdom come, will be done
I have recently come to the exhilarating and terrifying conclusion that God does indeed intend to bring his Kingdom on earth through me (and other followers of Him).
Maybe this is too simple of a statement.
It would seem somewhat obvious; afterall, Jesus explicitly asks us to pray for God's Kingdom to come when his disciples ask him how to pray. Yet again, in Matthew 28:18-20 there is the famous commission:
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Of course, this is to his disciples directly, but it was meant to replicate itself and it in fact, did.
Everything I do should be centered around the Spirit's desire to work through me to draw all people to Himself. I fail at this often, and yet, I am comforted that God has used me and is refining me and even making me desire more and more to be his child, his reflection. One of my favorite verses proclaims,
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, no counting men's sins against them. And he has committed us to this ministry of reconciliation.
We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." -2 Corinthians 5:18-21
It is easy to become numb to the Spirit. We can be distracted by so much. We can live our lives self-righteously or self-importantly. We can even do good things. Yet, as one of my friend's showed me the other week, when we stop just trying to be "good Christians" and open ourselves up to the Spirit we end up doing things like hanging out with our Somali friends and making acquaintance with one of their Somali friends who has need of all kinds of basic things like a winter coat and cookware and no way to get it. Then, we tell him that our church will be able to provide these things because that's what we do. Later, we actually do it. We sacrifice some time and money and energy and learn about another culture and feel a bit foolish perhaps, but it's so worthy. Actually listening to the Spirit and being willing to be used has repercussions beyond anything we can do with our own power.
I could go on and on. I know what I've written isn't very coherent. However, I feel it is vital to say either way. I am very amazed that Jesus wants to use us. In some ways it is logical because he did give us the Holy Spirit to help us when he left. In some ways, it seems ridiculous, being that humans are so fickle. Yet, God is changing the world through us. That is his plan. Let's be his ambassadors.
Maybe this is too simple of a statement.
It would seem somewhat obvious; afterall, Jesus explicitly asks us to pray for God's Kingdom to come when his disciples ask him how to pray. Yet again, in Matthew 28:18-20 there is the famous commission:
And Jesus came and said to them, "All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me.
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, teaching them to observe all that I have commanded you. And behold, I am with you always, to the end of the age."
Of course, this is to his disciples directly, but it was meant to replicate itself and it in fact, did.
Everything I do should be centered around the Spirit's desire to work through me to draw all people to Himself. I fail at this often, and yet, I am comforted that God has used me and is refining me and even making me desire more and more to be his child, his reflection. One of my favorite verses proclaims,
"All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ and gave us the ministry of reconciliation: that God was reconciling the world to himself through Christ, no counting men's sins against them. And he has committed us to this ministry of reconciliation.
We are therefore Christ's ambassadors, as though God were making his appeal through us. We implore you on Christ's behalf: Be reconciled to God. God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God." -2 Corinthians 5:18-21
It is easy to become numb to the Spirit. We can be distracted by so much. We can live our lives self-righteously or self-importantly. We can even do good things. Yet, as one of my friend's showed me the other week, when we stop just trying to be "good Christians" and open ourselves up to the Spirit we end up doing things like hanging out with our Somali friends and making acquaintance with one of their Somali friends who has need of all kinds of basic things like a winter coat and cookware and no way to get it. Then, we tell him that our church will be able to provide these things because that's what we do. Later, we actually do it. We sacrifice some time and money and energy and learn about another culture and feel a bit foolish perhaps, but it's so worthy. Actually listening to the Spirit and being willing to be used has repercussions beyond anything we can do with our own power.
I could go on and on. I know what I've written isn't very coherent. However, I feel it is vital to say either way. I am very amazed that Jesus wants to use us. In some ways it is logical because he did give us the Holy Spirit to help us when he left. In some ways, it seems ridiculous, being that humans are so fickle. Yet, God is changing the world through us. That is his plan. Let's be his ambassadors.
Wednesday, October 5, 2011
God made man
As surely as the sun rises, he will appear; he will come to us like the winter rains, like the spring rains that water the earth.” – Hosea 6:3, prophecy about Jesus
I am reading "Life of Pi" by Yann Patel right now. It is my housemate's book. I am very much enjoying community living by the by. We had our house-warming open house party and it was fantastic!
Mmmm...as I said before I'm reading "Life of Pi" and the story is mostly about an East Indian teenager, Pi, who grows up as the son of a zookeeper and is fascinated by both animals and religion. In one part of the story he explains how he came to meet Jesus Christ. He read through the gospels with a priest on a vacation after venturing into his parish. It struck me because Pi was so captured by how Jesus was a limited deity (or rather, he chose to limit himself); as it describes in Phillipians 2:6-8, Jesus Christ:
"Who, though he in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross."
Pi contrasts Jesus, a simple man plagued by thirst, tiredness, sadness and other woes of being human, with the Hindu gods who have "shine and power and might" and chose to take on their full cosmic size to impress and intimidate others. The God-man Jesus Christ, rather, lives out his days with followers who misunderstand him often and dies a horrific death enduring pain and mockery.
I have often had a difficult time truly viewing Jesus Christ as I think he ought to be -- in awe -- in deep admiration. Interestingly, Patel's writing of Pi's thoughts on the sheer ludicrosity of Jesus's humanity (even with his miracles) pulled my heart towards Jesus in a new way. I mostly don't even think of the humiliation he faced. So God was just a man, it's taken for granted. That he was God, well, yes, but he was a man too, so that's not so bad for him to limit himself, is it? Yet, of course, it must have been unbearable at times! Why did I forget that God being a man does not make him any less God and any less difficult to restrain himself? How often do I think the world should revolve around me? Yet Jesus Christ, with every right to authority, lets it go. More confounding still, as it says in "Life of Pi", why did he take on our days and "wish death upon himself" -- as the priest answers Pi again and again with one word, "Love."
Love.
Truly, Jesus Christ is not man-made God like the Hindu gods who playfully show off. He is a God made man. Beautiful beyond words with truth and love joined together to destroy the power of death. As such, it is only fitting then:
Philippians 2:9-11 continues,
"Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
I am reading "Life of Pi" by Yann Patel right now. It is my housemate's book. I am very much enjoying community living by the by. We had our house-warming open house party and it was fantastic!
Mmmm...as I said before I'm reading "Life of Pi" and the story is mostly about an East Indian teenager, Pi, who grows up as the son of a zookeeper and is fascinated by both animals and religion. In one part of the story he explains how he came to meet Jesus Christ. He read through the gospels with a priest on a vacation after venturing into his parish. It struck me because Pi was so captured by how Jesus was a limited deity (or rather, he chose to limit himself); as it describes in Phillipians 2:6-8, Jesus Christ:
"Who, though he in the form of God, did not count equality with God a thing to be grasped, but made himself nothing, taking the form of a servant, being born in the likeness of men. And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to death, even death on a cross."
Pi contrasts Jesus, a simple man plagued by thirst, tiredness, sadness and other woes of being human, with the Hindu gods who have "shine and power and might" and chose to take on their full cosmic size to impress and intimidate others. The God-man Jesus Christ, rather, lives out his days with followers who misunderstand him often and dies a horrific death enduring pain and mockery.
I have often had a difficult time truly viewing Jesus Christ as I think he ought to be -- in awe -- in deep admiration. Interestingly, Patel's writing of Pi's thoughts on the sheer ludicrosity of Jesus's humanity (even with his miracles) pulled my heart towards Jesus in a new way. I mostly don't even think of the humiliation he faced. So God was just a man, it's taken for granted. That he was God, well, yes, but he was a man too, so that's not so bad for him to limit himself, is it? Yet, of course, it must have been unbearable at times! Why did I forget that God being a man does not make him any less God and any less difficult to restrain himself? How often do I think the world should revolve around me? Yet Jesus Christ, with every right to authority, lets it go. More confounding still, as it says in "Life of Pi", why did he take on our days and "wish death upon himself" -- as the priest answers Pi again and again with one word, "Love."
Love.
Truly, Jesus Christ is not man-made God like the Hindu gods who playfully show off. He is a God made man. Beautiful beyond words with truth and love joined together to destroy the power of death. As such, it is only fitting then:
Philippians 2:9-11 continues,
"Therefore, God has highly exalted him and bestowed on him the name that is above every name, so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father."
Friday, September 2, 2011
Every new beginning is part of some other beginning's end
Hmmm...so tonight I feel kind of angsty/emotional. My doubts have doubts. My anxieties are anxious. My stubbornness feels stubborn.
Haha. :0)
Well, it is kind of the beginning of a new chapter as 3 lovely ladies (all good friends of my husband and me) moved downstairs in the duplex. I have never lived in a community house and so far I am enjoying it but I'm also seeing how it can be stressful and a little iffy on boundaries. We will have a meeting to talk about all such things but at this time they are still unpacking and we're busy people. All in all, it's really a blessing and I'm looking forward to all the good times to come which I believe will proportionally increase by the number of friends living "together" (we are still separated but the stairwell is open between us and we share a yard, etc, not too mention we're just all friends!).
So as a new chapter opens, another closes; that being my time as a preschool teacher at a preschool which shall remain nameless (to protect myself as well as those I was working with/for). Haha. Yes, I never wrote about it here but trust me that I have stories. I was tempted to blabber about some of the very terrible mishaps as well as just about the kids (who are always more charming than adults it seems). One more recent episode I shall have to recount: this lady who is quite possibly closing in on 80 and probably has a weak case of alzheimers (I am not joking) told me, after I was giving a suggestion on how to deal with a behavior problem, very loudly (yelling): "Mind your own bizwax!" Yes, bizwax. The children all thought this was the most hilarious word known to them from their birth to this point in their short lives and erupted into laughter. I was so thankful for that laughter because it completely diffused the tension and the little old lady firecracker who had spat it out. She walked away muttering, "What? You've really never heard that before?"
The children repeated it over and over again for the next half hour. It was actually quite comical. So glad for children and laughter.
On a much more positive spin I had my last day this week working there regularly. I may come back to substitute every now and then, we'll see how it goes. I am thankful that they valued me as an employee anyway. So, on my last day I gave the children all little white puzzles that they could draw on/color on and make into their own puzzle and a couple of darling stickers (one cartoonish owls and one realistic butterflies). I loved giving to them and they all seemed to love it too.
AND, I had favorites (those teachers who say they don't are complete and utter liars!). :0)
I will miss these children the most of all:
Anya: Little Trinidadian American girl, 6 and a half. She was tad on the chubby side but not too much. She really stood out to me because of her spirit and spunk. She was almost always one of the first ones to raise her hand to answer a question/volunteer. Also, I don't think she ever forgot to say please. That stands out. She was a bit overpowering to others, really, but such a fun girl. I know she will have to learn to control her loudness/temper (occasionally) but she will and then she will be so lovely (as she already is). Just a fun girl.
Lily Belle: A lot like Anya in some ways - very stubborn/assertive. She was five (golden age). She had light brown hair and blue eyes and was just a little beauty but in girl rugby player type way (I don't know if that makes sense, but, lol). She was feisty and sweet at the same time. I remember when she got dressed up to go with her grandma to see the play "Annie" -- at the time she just knew she was going somewhere special and it was some kind of party probably. I helped her get dressed (supervising) and she picked out the flounciest ballerina type orange skirt. Then I got to put a little jeweled bobby pin in her hair. Priceless. When she came back she said she was in the play. Silly girl.
Ashrith: The cutest little Indian American boy. Probably not more than three and a half. He had an older sister who is four and a half. The best thing about Ashrith is that a lot of days when I came in he would shout, "Kimberly!" in his adorable accent and then come give me a little hug half way on my leg. Ha. Once he got over his shyness, he was very eager to participate. It was pretty cool to see the transformation that occurred while I was there in regard to him being around his sister. His sister is much more reserved than he is but when I was first there he would follow his sister around like her shadow. He would practically cry if she left his side. We encouraged him to sit apart from his sister but it was very, very hard for him. However, by the time that I left (a couple of months really) he was fine playing with other kids (mainly the older boys) and doing everything apart from his sister. I was so glad for him!
Haha. :0)
Well, it is kind of the beginning of a new chapter as 3 lovely ladies (all good friends of my husband and me) moved downstairs in the duplex. I have never lived in a community house and so far I am enjoying it but I'm also seeing how it can be stressful and a little iffy on boundaries. We will have a meeting to talk about all such things but at this time they are still unpacking and we're busy people. All in all, it's really a blessing and I'm looking forward to all the good times to come which I believe will proportionally increase by the number of friends living "together" (we are still separated but the stairwell is open between us and we share a yard, etc, not too mention we're just all friends!).
So as a new chapter opens, another closes; that being my time as a preschool teacher at a preschool which shall remain nameless (to protect myself as well as those I was working with/for). Haha. Yes, I never wrote about it here but trust me that I have stories. I was tempted to blabber about some of the very terrible mishaps as well as just about the kids (who are always more charming than adults it seems). One more recent episode I shall have to recount: this lady who is quite possibly closing in on 80 and probably has a weak case of alzheimers (I am not joking) told me, after I was giving a suggestion on how to deal with a behavior problem, very loudly (yelling): "Mind your own bizwax!" Yes, bizwax. The children all thought this was the most hilarious word known to them from their birth to this point in their short lives and erupted into laughter. I was so thankful for that laughter because it completely diffused the tension and the little old lady firecracker who had spat it out. She walked away muttering, "What? You've really never heard that before?"
The children repeated it over and over again for the next half hour. It was actually quite comical. So glad for children and laughter.
On a much more positive spin I had my last day this week working there regularly. I may come back to substitute every now and then, we'll see how it goes. I am thankful that they valued me as an employee anyway. So, on my last day I gave the children all little white puzzles that they could draw on/color on and make into their own puzzle and a couple of darling stickers (one cartoonish owls and one realistic butterflies). I loved giving to them and they all seemed to love it too.
AND, I had favorites (those teachers who say they don't are complete and utter liars!). :0)
I will miss these children the most of all:
Anya: Little Trinidadian American girl, 6 and a half. She was tad on the chubby side but not too much. She really stood out to me because of her spirit and spunk. She was almost always one of the first ones to raise her hand to answer a question/volunteer. Also, I don't think she ever forgot to say please. That stands out. She was a bit overpowering to others, really, but such a fun girl. I know she will have to learn to control her loudness/temper (occasionally) but she will and then she will be so lovely (as she already is). Just a fun girl.
Lily Belle: A lot like Anya in some ways - very stubborn/assertive. She was five (golden age). She had light brown hair and blue eyes and was just a little beauty but in girl rugby player type way (I don't know if that makes sense, but, lol). She was feisty and sweet at the same time. I remember when she got dressed up to go with her grandma to see the play "Annie" -- at the time she just knew she was going somewhere special and it was some kind of party probably. I helped her get dressed (supervising) and she picked out the flounciest ballerina type orange skirt. Then I got to put a little jeweled bobby pin in her hair. Priceless. When she came back she said she was in the play. Silly girl.
Ashrith: The cutest little Indian American boy. Probably not more than three and a half. He had an older sister who is four and a half. The best thing about Ashrith is that a lot of days when I came in he would shout, "Kimberly!" in his adorable accent and then come give me a little hug half way on my leg. Ha. Once he got over his shyness, he was very eager to participate. It was pretty cool to see the transformation that occurred while I was there in regard to him being around his sister. His sister is much more reserved than he is but when I was first there he would follow his sister around like her shadow. He would practically cry if she left his side. We encouraged him to sit apart from his sister but it was very, very hard for him. However, by the time that I left (a couple of months really) he was fine playing with other kids (mainly the older boys) and doing everything apart from his sister. I was so glad for him!
Friday, July 15, 2011
Grey Day
-Sigh- Today is one of those days where I feel the lack of Heaven. Yes, I prayed today, "They Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven." However, the glories of Heaven and the Kingdom are apparently absent. I don't say this in an uber depressed tone. Don't misunderstand; overall this day has been one worth keeping. I even got to see a dear friend and that was valuable. It's not even the weather. I don't mind the clouds and rain. I even cherish the new life and the strong scents that storms bring. It's just that there is something in me that knows this life is not how it's supposed to be.
If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us,like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at sea. We are far to easily pleased.
I even wrote in my journal the other day: "Do we get to the point where we learn 'not too expect too much?' What does God think of this? He thinks we need to learn to expect more I venture."
There is a sort of resignation that occurs as one becomes older and sometimes it okay I suppose, but other times I think it just makes people drones, simply doing just enough and being in survival mode or at least what is comfort mode (which is more dangerous because then people have the illusion that they are satisfied but they really aren't living life, they are just being spoon-fed). At least those in survival mode see that things are not as they should be more often. Hmmm....I think C.S. Lewis said it rather well when he said this,
If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us,like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at sea. We are far to easily pleased.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
I shall plant thee like a garden
I wrote a song with that in the chorus (there isn't really a "chorus" in it so much but I'll call it that). It kind of just came to me as I was doing some little bits out in the garden area, just watering it and such before we left last weekend to go to Chris' parents cabin for memorial day weekend. This song actually sticks in my head like peanut butter sticks to your mouth.
Here are the lyrics. It's kind of a call and response with a lilt to it in the first part. The second part has more of a flowing feel, almost like a cascading waterfall.
I shall plant thee (I shall plant thee)
Like a garden (like a garden)
I shall plant thee (I shall plant thee)
Like a garden (like a garden)
And if you need some loving care
Just call my name and I'll be right there
Watering and weeding you
Cultivating love with each new dew
Anyway, as I was singing this more I realized that I have been neglecting my garden (busyness with other things). I am not very good at giving it "loving care" - haha. However, it got me thinking about how often I sing things in worship songs that are ideals of what I should live by and I am often hypocritical. I feel like I should live each word I sing - or at least be able to vehemently agree with it. Sometimes that is so hard. I know, however, that God has grace for me. Last night was fantastic at Jesus Kitchen because I prayed for peace and there really was a tangible peace and life from the Spirit there. I also got to play a lot of music there and just saturate the space with those truths and ideas. I am thankful for music as a way to worship God in many ways - even as my own songwriting convicts me and awakens me.
Here are the lyrics. It's kind of a call and response with a lilt to it in the first part. The second part has more of a flowing feel, almost like a cascading waterfall.
I shall plant thee (I shall plant thee)
Like a garden (like a garden)
I shall plant thee (I shall plant thee)
Like a garden (like a garden)
And if you need some loving care
Just call my name and I'll be right there
Watering and weeding you
Cultivating love with each new dew
Anyway, as I was singing this more I realized that I have been neglecting my garden (busyness with other things). I am not very good at giving it "loving care" - haha. However, it got me thinking about how often I sing things in worship songs that are ideals of what I should live by and I am often hypocritical. I feel like I should live each word I sing - or at least be able to vehemently agree with it. Sometimes that is so hard. I know, however, that God has grace for me. Last night was fantastic at Jesus Kitchen because I prayed for peace and there really was a tangible peace and life from the Spirit there. I also got to play a lot of music there and just saturate the space with those truths and ideas. I am thankful for music as a way to worship God in many ways - even as my own songwriting convicts me and awakens me.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
Stories
I just wanted to put up the lyrics to a song I wrote last week. I am sure I will tweak it a bit, but for the most part it is intact.
"STORIES"
v.1
Oh I don't know
If I can make you grow
But I can tell you
So many stories
There are many things
That aren't as they seem
And much
That lies underneath
Chorus:
Life is not life
Until you've live inside
Stories
Life is not life
Until you've take off your eyes
And seen
v.2
Will you come with me
And dare to believe
And in believing see
In believing see
More than we have dreamed
A reality beyond our belief
Repeat Chorus
End with tag: A reality beyond belief/Richer than the blood you bleed?
Anyway, there it is.
I need to get going but I feel like this song is going to be really solid when I get the fine-tuning done. It's more than about just "stories" if you hadn't guessed already. It's also about the GREATER story. Any thoughts? Ideas? Comments? Let me know. I'd love to be able to post a recording but right now I can't do that.
If I see you in person I'd love to sing and play it for you.
"STORIES"
v.1
Oh I don't know
If I can make you grow
But I can tell you
So many stories
There are many things
That aren't as they seem
And much
That lies underneath
Chorus:
Life is not life
Until you've live inside
Stories
Life is not life
Until you've take off your eyes
And seen
v.2
Will you come with me
And dare to believe
And in believing see
In believing see
More than we have dreamed
A reality beyond our belief
Repeat Chorus
End with tag: A reality beyond belief/Richer than the blood you bleed?
Anyway, there it is.
I need to get going but I feel like this song is going to be really solid when I get the fine-tuning done. It's more than about just "stories" if you hadn't guessed already. It's also about the GREATER story. Any thoughts? Ideas? Comments? Let me know. I'd love to be able to post a recording but right now I can't do that.
If I see you in person I'd love to sing and play it for you.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Tis the Gift to be Simple
Recently, I've been getting seemingly random songs stuck in my head. Songs I haven't heard for years, on the radio or otherwise. So, this morning it was "Tis the Gift to be Simple". I remember learning this song in elementary school. I had a good music teacher - she taught us all kinds of folk music. So, I think I know why I got this song stuck in my head. It is lent and I am fasting from facebook (which has been great). I've also been reading through Common Prayer: A Liturgy for Ordinary Radicals which has been really drawing me closer to the Lord and his Word. It's wonderful to have something that makes me read the Bible in sequence and yet do more than that. I don't feel like it is something I'm just doing to do. I actually want to do it.
Anyhow, I am just grateful that God can speak to me through music. I needed to remember this song and sing this song because I'd been really wanting to move (even though there is nothing wrong with where we live) and I'd just so happened to find a comparable place to ours on Craig's list yesterday. It is also a mere three blocks away, sounds nicer to me, and I have been very tempted to look at it. Last night, our friend from small group prayed for us that we would find joy where we are at now (still having wisdom and direction for the future but really, truly finding joy in our every day). I think that was right on. I do enjoy my life. Some days are so packed with outrageous joy and meaning that I don't even have a single thought to do something like look on facebook or lust after a new kind of possession or achievement. Yet, I also often am looking forward to the future, with hope as well as anxiety, but still, I need to take joy in this day.
Here is the music, by Joseph Brackett:
Anyhow, I am just grateful that God can speak to me through music. I needed to remember this song and sing this song because I'd been really wanting to move (even though there is nothing wrong with where we live) and I'd just so happened to find a comparable place to ours on Craig's list yesterday. It is also a mere three blocks away, sounds nicer to me, and I have been very tempted to look at it. Last night, our friend from small group prayed for us that we would find joy where we are at now (still having wisdom and direction for the future but really, truly finding joy in our every day). I think that was right on. I do enjoy my life. Some days are so packed with outrageous joy and meaning that I don't even have a single thought to do something like look on facebook or lust after a new kind of possession or achievement. Yet, I also often am looking forward to the future, with hope as well as anxiety, but still, I need to take joy in this day.
Here is the music, by Joseph Brackett:
| G | D7 | G | |
| 'Tis the | gift to be simple, 'tis a gift | to be | free |
| D | A7 | D | D7 | |
| 'Tis the | gift to | come down | where we ought to | be |
| G | D | G | D7 | G | |
| And w | hen we find ourselves | in the | place | just | right |
| C6 | D7 | C | G | |
| 'Twill | be in the va | lley of l | ove and de | light |
| D | G | |
| When true | simpl | icity is gained |
| A7 | D7 | |
| To bow and to bend we | shan't be a | shamed |
| G | D | G | |
| To | turn, to turn | will | be our delight |
| Am | D7 | G | C | G | |
| Till by | turning, | turning we | come r | ound right |
Friday, February 25, 2011
Catharsis
Definition of CATHARSIS
1
2
a : purification or purgation of the emotions (as pity and fear) primarily through artb : a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension
The above is from the Merriam-Webster's.
I was just experiencing such catharsis. I am so grateful for the gift of music and specifically through the means of expressing through the ukulele. I feel rather dry as I write this now, the back-analysis if you will, but I was playing it so purely and so beautifully just minutes ago.
Then I was also thinking about how I haven't blogged/written creatively much lately and how I've had many thoughts that were worth writing down but haven't given the time to do it or felt the impulse to move myself toward that aim.
It is not as important to me as it once was, although I still will be a writer and feel the need (or the need to serve the gift) and write at different times. Yet, there is something expressed through music and something "achieved" even (although that seems an odd word to use) that cannot be done through my writing. Different parts of me are expressed and given life and voice through music that are not in writing. I am glad for both.
I was reading earlier on a facebook page about "Snowman the Soulman" - a friend's fiance of mine actually - who is a saxophonist - and he said that he's called the "soulman" because people have said they can hear his soul through his playing. I want that to be true for me. It is one thing to play music, to play a song; it is one thing to even write words, write a story or a poem or an essay; and it is another entirely to allow it to flow - to carry you as it were as you are expressed through it and yet hidden within it as though in a beautiful cloak (a cloak that is made as you weave your story or song). The cloak that hides and yet reveals an utter beauty. So many metaphors mixed I know, but it's what I am feeling right now and it's what is true even if it's hard to say it in a concrete fashion.
Thursday, February 10, 2011
Life is good...
I don't know why I'm posting other than it's been a long time and my last post was kind of depressing/desperate and I want to report that I am doing much better and God is very good and I'm realizing that more and more and my innate need for all things HIM.
Church is going much better. I talked to a lovely lady from there about such things and it really helped me put things in perspective. The last few weeks have been really good just because I think I've let go of some things and also opened myself up more to the Holy Spirit working in me. I think I might quit playing music with the worship music team, but I haven't decided yet. As much as I love doing it and I am sometimes very blessed to do it, I think God may want to take me a different direction with those talents and have me "relax" more at church and receive more. I just played a couple of songs at an Alpha course yesterday for the transition time and although I was very shy about doing it I think it went well overall. I really do like sharing music with people. Zoo Animal has inspired me a lot (if you haven't heard of them or any of their music, definitely go to http://www.myspace.com/zooanimalsound
I and a few friends went to a show of those the other week and it was great. Most of all, the frontwoman, Holly Newsom, is wonderfully real in her lyrics which happen to talk about God and life and it inspires me. Their music and the energy behind it is just terrific too. Yeah.
Chris and I also got to talk with a couple from church about some things in our marriage and it was really good. I am so glad we have people we can go deeper with and trust about the heavy things. I am also really glad for the wisdom they have to give and the experiences they have to share with us that makes us feel like we're not freaks but just people with strengths and weaknesses and inevitably in need of God's grace (like everyone).
I don't know what else to say. There are so many things I've blessed with lately and I'm grateful for them all. Volunteering at preschools where kids are so sweet and endearing, parents who are fun to hang out with, a husband who is my best friend, friends who grow better each day, etc. I do know that I've got to get out into the sunshine but here's a little something I wrote last week. It's not great, but it's something. I want to post more poetry but I've been writing songs mostly lately which don't translate as well on a soundless page :0). Anyway:
Sipping weak coffee
Listening to a man with an African accent get upset at a couple of young adults in a special education program
My life
Strange images, sounds, sensations
But an opportunity,
To breathe, to think, to ponder, to marvel, to analyze
Lives of others
With mine diverging and colliding quickly, quietly
Disconnected, yet touching
Church is going much better. I talked to a lovely lady from there about such things and it really helped me put things in perspective. The last few weeks have been really good just because I think I've let go of some things and also opened myself up more to the Holy Spirit working in me. I think I might quit playing music with the worship music team, but I haven't decided yet. As much as I love doing it and I am sometimes very blessed to do it, I think God may want to take me a different direction with those talents and have me "relax" more at church and receive more. I just played a couple of songs at an Alpha course yesterday for the transition time and although I was very shy about doing it I think it went well overall. I really do like sharing music with people. Zoo Animal has inspired me a lot (if you haven't heard of them or any of their music, definitely go to http://www.myspace.com/zooanimalsound
I and a few friends went to a show of those the other week and it was great. Most of all, the frontwoman, Holly Newsom, is wonderfully real in her lyrics which happen to talk about God and life and it inspires me. Their music and the energy behind it is just terrific too. Yeah.
Chris and I also got to talk with a couple from church about some things in our marriage and it was really good. I am so glad we have people we can go deeper with and trust about the heavy things. I am also really glad for the wisdom they have to give and the experiences they have to share with us that makes us feel like we're not freaks but just people with strengths and weaknesses and inevitably in need of God's grace (like everyone).
I don't know what else to say. There are so many things I've blessed with lately and I'm grateful for them all. Volunteering at preschools where kids are so sweet and endearing, parents who are fun to hang out with, a husband who is my best friend, friends who grow better each day, etc. I do know that I've got to get out into the sunshine but here's a little something I wrote last week. It's not great, but it's something. I want to post more poetry but I've been writing songs mostly lately which don't translate as well on a soundless page :0). Anyway:
Sipping weak coffee
Listening to a man with an African accent get upset at a couple of young adults in a special education program
My life
Strange images, sounds, sensations
But an opportunity,
To breathe, to think, to ponder, to marvel, to analyze
Lives of others
With mine diverging and colliding quickly, quietly
Disconnected, yet touching
Friday, January 21, 2011
James 3:15-18
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Thinkin' Time
With the constant distractions of life and technology sometimes it seems like my brain gets short-wired and I don't really think, I don't let my mind meander or even just experience the moment.
I went on a short walk tonight amid the hectic pace of my duties (I was baking some din-din in the oven), and lo and behold, there was a very full moon gracing the night sky. It was beautiful and it made me feel safer as I walked along the street. I have decided I need to intentionally get out and be active more (although I do this sometimes, lately I'd become kind of lazy). Definitely, it is cold outside, but it's not that bad when you're moving and you're not out there forever. After all, that's why long underwear was made. :0)
So, as I strolled I found myself having thoughts (yes thoughts!) that I didn't even know I had. I feel like it's so easy to sit under an umbrella of sudden feelings, sudden thoughts, and constant distraction (especially from the internet and sometimes other people) and almost never know what you yourself are truly thinking and feeling. I was glad to get out from under that umbrella for at least 20 minutes and experience the cool winter air and gorgeous sky.
I went on a short walk tonight amid the hectic pace of my duties (I was baking some din-din in the oven), and lo and behold, there was a very full moon gracing the night sky. It was beautiful and it made me feel safer as I walked along the street. I have decided I need to intentionally get out and be active more (although I do this sometimes, lately I'd become kind of lazy). Definitely, it is cold outside, but it's not that bad when you're moving and you're not out there forever. After all, that's why long underwear was made. :0)
So, as I strolled I found myself having thoughts (yes thoughts!) that I didn't even know I had. I feel like it's so easy to sit under an umbrella of sudden feelings, sudden thoughts, and constant distraction (especially from the internet and sometimes other people) and almost never know what you yourself are truly thinking and feeling. I was glad to get out from under that umbrella for at least 20 minutes and experience the cool winter air and gorgeous sky.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Rhythms
So, I used to have a thing for drummers.
However, I am not talking about those kind of rhythms. ;0)
I don't know why I feel the need to start this blog out in the cheesiest possible way, but I guess it's because I am blogging on so little time and not much ambition. (sheepish smile)
I was walking through the winter darkness to my neighbor's house to return the spare set of keys that she lent me (she is kind of our landlady's caretaker) because earlier I locked my keys in the garage. Anyhow, something about being outside in the serenity of evening in a working-class Minneapolis neighborhood in January makes me contemplative. Maybe it is the stillness, maybe it is the coolness of the air, or the lights in the windows of the cozy little houses, but it gathers my thoughts together and makes me just be.
I have a rather erratic schedule as a substitute teacher but I realized that I still have rhythms. There are still things in my life that I do each day (or week, or season) to help me find my place. Some examples: for the last few months I have been volunteering at a preschool on Tuesdays. I also have worship music practice on Tuesday, late afternoonish/early eveningish. On Fridays there is church in the evening, on Saturday nights is Jesus Kitchen, and on Sundays and Saturdays Chris and I always sleep in and are usually pretty free-spirited about our plans (which is kind of like our way of giving ourselves a Sabbath I guess). ;0) So, I guess weekly my rhythms are pretty steady. However, even in the day to day things I find myself in patterns. Even if I don't have much time I always eat breakfast...and I cherish what little time I do have in the morning. Before I go to bed I usually read or journal. I love to pray with Chris too whenever that works out (which is most nights). Admittedly, I also usually go on Facebook when I get home from work! I want to change this habit to something like taking a walk outside or reading from the Bible or even, "gasp" writing creatively!
Yeah. What kind of rhythms do you have in your life? What kind of rhythms do you want?
I also find it very interesting that everything in the natural world sustains an ebb and flow (hey, that's actually taken from wordage about water). Water, seasons, planets, animals, people even, yes, us. We've been created to keep rhythm.
However, I am not talking about those kind of rhythms. ;0)
I don't know why I feel the need to start this blog out in the cheesiest possible way, but I guess it's because I am blogging on so little time and not much ambition. (sheepish smile)
I was walking through the winter darkness to my neighbor's house to return the spare set of keys that she lent me (she is kind of our landlady's caretaker) because earlier I locked my keys in the garage. Anyhow, something about being outside in the serenity of evening in a working-class Minneapolis neighborhood in January makes me contemplative. Maybe it is the stillness, maybe it is the coolness of the air, or the lights in the windows of the cozy little houses, but it gathers my thoughts together and makes me just be.
I have a rather erratic schedule as a substitute teacher but I realized that I still have rhythms. There are still things in my life that I do each day (or week, or season) to help me find my place. Some examples: for the last few months I have been volunteering at a preschool on Tuesdays. I also have worship music practice on Tuesday, late afternoonish/early eveningish. On Fridays there is church in the evening, on Saturday nights is Jesus Kitchen, and on Sundays and Saturdays Chris and I always sleep in and are usually pretty free-spirited about our plans (which is kind of like our way of giving ourselves a Sabbath I guess). ;0) So, I guess weekly my rhythms are pretty steady. However, even in the day to day things I find myself in patterns. Even if I don't have much time I always eat breakfast...and I cherish what little time I do have in the morning. Before I go to bed I usually read or journal. I love to pray with Chris too whenever that works out (which is most nights). Admittedly, I also usually go on Facebook when I get home from work! I want to change this habit to something like taking a walk outside or reading from the Bible or even, "gasp" writing creatively!
Yeah. What kind of rhythms do you have in your life? What kind of rhythms do you want?
I also find it very interesting that everything in the natural world sustains an ebb and flow (hey, that's actually taken from wordage about water). Water, seasons, planets, animals, people even, yes, us. We've been created to keep rhythm.
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