Grey Day

      -Sigh-  Today is one of those days where I feel the lack of Heaven.  Yes, I prayed today, "They Kingdom come, thy will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven."  However, the glories of Heaven and the Kingdom are apparently absent.  I don't say this in an uber depressed tone.  Don't misunderstand; overall this day has been one worth keeping.  I even got to see a dear friend and that was valuable.  It's not even the weather.  I don't mind the clouds and rain.  I even cherish the new life and the strong scents that storms bring.  It's just that there is something in me that knows this life is not how it's supposed to be.

     I even wrote in my journal the other day:  "Do we get to the point where we learn 'not too expect too much?' What does God think of this?  He thinks we need to learn to expect more I venture."

    There is a sort of resignation that occurs as one becomes older and sometimes it okay I suppose, but other times I think it just makes people drones, simply doing just enough and being in survival mode or at least what is comfort mode (which is more dangerous because then people have the illusion that they are satisfied but they really aren't living life, they are just being spoon-fed).  At least those in survival mode see that things are not as they should be more often.  Hmmm....I think C.S. Lewis said it rather well when he said this,  

If we consider the unblushing promises of reward and the staggering nature of the rewards promised in the gospels, it would seem that our Lord finds our desires not too strong, but too weak. We are half-hearted creatures, fooling around with drink and sex and ambition when infinite joy is offered us,like an ignorant child who wants to go on making mud pies in the slum because he cannot imagine what is meant by an offer of a holiday at sea. We are far to easily pleased.