Last year was epic and marvelous in so many ways. So many changes, for the better mostly. Moving to Virginia at the end of Spring, Chris' super job, Miriam Jubilee coming into the world and knocking our socks off (my favorite change!). I will always miss Minnesota and our friends there (and family too) but such is life. I would be lying, however, to not say how I do deeply miss them and have felt it quite a lot lately.
Virginia is a good place to live all in all. It's just not the same as Minnesota. My winter here is bearable but in a kind of November way. It's actually green (I know, weird!) but it's kind of Novembery weather as in it's cold outside just enough most of the time that you don't want to be out (well, it makes it tricky with a young baby anyway). Also, there is no snow. I never realized how beautiful and peaceful snow makes everything look. It's just cold (well, at least cold for someone whose body has become acclaimated to warmer weather - if I came here from Minnesota January I'd say this is a heat wave, but anyhow).
So, I was originally going to post about my New Year's "resolutions" of sorts. I don't know if they really are resolutions but I want to change the way I live so I guess you'd call it that. One big thing is that I feel God calling me to more faith - not faith as in let's see people get healed and raise the dead type miracle faith - faith as in just fully trusting that God knows what he's doing with me - faith that sees past my husband's and other close friends/family's shortcomings and my limitations in time, resources and geography and sees what IS there and what CAN BE there as God works and I believe. I need to have the kind of faith that hushes the humdrum and hangups and knows Jesus walking among us. Even if I'm not healing the sick or raising the dead for God I want to believe God is with me and not stifle his Spirit in my everyday life - I want to be open to whatever adventure, however ordinary.
Along with that kind of everyday faith I need to change the way I talk. I don't mean that I need to take on a southern accent, heeheh, but I need to think before I speak as much as possible and not let my tongue steer my ship like a small rudder crashing the ship into the shore. Most people don't realize that I can have a poisonous tongue and be careless with my words but I certainly can. I do this much more than I care to admit and I want to speak life and grace and truth in all circumstances instead. I want to be speaking as if speaking the very words of God (If anyone speaks, they should do so as one who speaks the very words of God. If anyone serves, they should do so with the strength God provides, so that in all things God may be praised through Jesus Christ. To him be the glory and the power for ever and ever. Amen 1 Peter 4:11). Does that mean I can never criticize? No, but I need to be very careful in doing so and pray about what words I say before I say them. More often, I want to encourage and affirm what I can than bring a critical word that is probably going to be unhelpful. It's very humbling for me to say this because I like to look good to others, but I know I need to change. Lord, help me. Help me trust and speak your truth in grace and love. Sustain me in all circumstances to live life in a resurrected and redeemed reality not based on what I see alone.
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