Everyone is a Beggar

"Give to everyone who asks of you, and whoever takes away what is yours, do not demand it back. Treat others the same way you want [e]them to treat you. If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them.  If you do good to those who do good to you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners do the same. If you lend to those from whom you expect to receive, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners in order to receive back the same amount."
 -Luke 6:30-34

I've been asking God where to go lately.  He's been directing me.  That's been awesome.  However, I don't always listen.  Nor do I always obey even when I say I will.  Yeah, I am a sinner too.

Here's a story/rant about beggars.

I mentioned there are quite a few homeless/down and out people that live near by the (mostly) middle class and upper class neighborhood we live in.  They go walking on the main streets and ask people for money sometimes.  It's happened to me a few times and the last few days I've felt like God wants me to give someone "down and out" $20 I have burning a hole in my wallet.  I missed one such prompting and said I'd listen the next time.  Here's what happened.

I felt led to go to this super cute vintage/antique store just a couple of blocks from us.  I walked around the block to get there and went inside.  They had moved things in the store since last I'd been in and the displays were absolutely gorgeous and whimsical. Everywhere I looked was eye-candy and interesting thing after interesting thing.  I wanted about half a dozen things in the store and even tried on a vintage dress.  I thought of the "practical" things I could purchase as well but I could tell Miriam was getting tired and then she screamed a little (I think she's possibly getting a tooth now!) and so I decided we had better go.

As I walked out the door two people, a man and a woman, who appeared to be homeless, walked behind me.  As we neared the light the woman asked me if I had some spare change.  The light was changing so I said if they followed me across the intersection I'd give them some.  As soon as we got across I rifled through my purse, took out my wallet, and gave them all the change in the pocket.  I thought though: give them $20, but they had only asked for change, I countered.  I asked them, "What do you need?"  The woman told me they needed food and intended to buy some fried chicken in a bag that they could get for $2 somewhere.  I thought, okay, so see they don't even need that much.  Also, the man had said "You're a Christian, right?" and I responded, "Yes I am" kind of sheepishly as the prompt of giving more was still there and I was not obeying it.  Then another man who was smoking a cigarette came by asking them about a bus route and before I could think further I decided to leave to avoid the smoke (mostly for Miriam) and said, "Bless you" as they thanked me.  BUT here's the thing: I'm a hypocrite.

So, yeah, I gave them some money.  BUT I felt like I should have given more.  Would they have used if for food?  I don't know for sure.  Maybe they would have used it for cigarettes or alcohol or drugs even.  I just don't know.  But what would I have used it for?  To buy another "thing."  To purchase some temporary "happiness" and try to fill the void that is only filled by God.  To justify my addiction to materialism comparing myself to others who are MORE indulgent than me and buy not just some "useful things" but overpriced designer clothing or fancy trinket or the like.  Yeah, so I'm not as bad as that person.  At least I gave them some change.  Right?  Right.  Except that's not what God was really asking me to do.  Except while they may not have used the money in the "best" way I would not have either and my "perceived needs" are all really wants anyway.  You may disagree but I have a feeling that 9 times of of 10 I bet they'd use the money far more usefully to themselves overall.

In our society, just because someone has money it's often assumed that they "deserve" it.  Just because I happen to be "middle class" now it's assumed that I did something or that my worth as a person is greater and I'm entitled to it.  This is simply wrong.  Perhaps because I have been on the lower end of the earning scale I can see that better.  Perhaps because I don't "earn" money now and my work is being a stay-at-home mama and wife I don't feel I deserve it.  Regardless, I think it's a misconception that someone with money "deserves" it.  My "wants" do not discredit a street person's needs.  My "wants" are not even better than their "wants" either.  We're all beggars when it comes down to it.  Everything that was given to me, in the end, is from God's grace.  Jesus gave to me so I could give to others.  I am blessed to be a blessing.  It occurred to me, actually, that Jesus probably wants me to give my money just so I can see my spiritual poverty just as much to show them his Grace.  That in itself is humbling.  So, pray for me, to not just be an orator telling this story but actually obey next time.  Thank you.