I gave birth to my second about a month ago (August 10th), a beautiful boy named Peter Galileo. I am already proud of him. Well, as it happens I now have a 2 year old as well. I love Miriam J. dearly but she is also a lot of work and as I type this it comes off of a day where I felt in a half-fog even as I celebrated my beloved child's life. All that to say, it's been too long. Before Peter G. was born (a story I will write soon), I took a tiny holiday to have lunch by myself and pray and play music. I felt God telling me that there is more to me than motherhood. Although this season in my life is deep in the trenches of mothering I felt God remind me that I need to nourish my creativity as well. I am made to be an artist and cultivating that is crucial. Incidentally, I wrote to my good friend from Minneapolis (now transported to Canada) a mother blessing. It was something I had not done intentionally for a while and I want to share it here to begin the unearthing of a love for invention.
Hello dear Christen,
I know this might be longer than something you'd read, but I just wrote my heart out to you, so here goes:
When I first heard you were going to be a mama I was stoked for you and saddened by your loss not long after. The second time I heard, my excitement was deepened with experience and I thought of all the beautiful qualities you have - gentleness, kindness, compassion and passion, creativity, a sweet and nurturing heart, a love of justice and being seeker of truth, and a simple humility that takes life in and desires to be taught by all you can. You, as well as Phil, have so much to give a little one. I say these things to affirm you and to give you encouragement as you begin this profound journey in the coming first days of your little person's life.
When my daughter was born I had no idea how great a sacrifice it would be, so I will just say this: this, this birthing a child and then all that comes with it, is going to be the hardest thing you've done (as least for me at has been). Yet, no matter how demanding raising a child (especially an infant) can be, God has provided for us! He gives us grace in His Spirit and in each other. I see that he has given you a community already to help in this immense task so don't be afraid to ask for help in tangible and intangible ways. You will assuredly find yourself at the end of yourself from lack of sleep or just lack of time to just be. It's supposed to be that way because we all need each other and we need the Holy Spirit to give us the strength and wisdom and sustain us. You will love your baby but as in a marriage that love will be something that is only given at times by Grace. In my experience, as your child grows your awe and love for them will only blossom more. You will find in beautiful, everyday moments that there is really nothing more delightful than watching your child become the person they are created to be.
I'm coming to the end of my own pregnancy and also getting ready to welcome another human being into this great big world and so my reflection to you is a reflection to myself as well. I anticipate with you and pray with you for vision, for health, and for a deep gratitude within all the chaos that is to come. I love you and my heart leaps and baby belly leaps (like Elizabeth and Mary) as I think on the tiny one you will get to meet face to face so very soon!
I love you!
Kimberly
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